Friendship Is Like A Puzzle
(Video Version Can be found on my Facebook page – Peggy Smith Wellness September 6, 2018)
Cute little sayings about friendship are everywhere. Every time I log into Pinterest or Facebook I see them: “Friendship isn’t a big thing, it’s a million little things.” “The most memorable people in life will be the friends who loved you even when you weren’t very lovable.” “Your job won’t take care of you when you’re sick, your friends will.”
But the nuances and subtleties of the true essence of friendship can not be summarized in a cute quote.
Earlier this week I met up with one of my best friends for lunch, we had not talked for a couple months and I wasn’t sure why – but the separation had weighed incredibly hard on my heart. It was one of those times where all you can do is play back every conversation in your head, rewind all the interactions and search out the moment that things went wrong. Feelings are so fragile, even well-seasoned relationships can take a hit by ill placed words or thoughtless comments.
Thankfully, things are on the mend now because she cared enough about our friendship to work through her hurt and present it to me honestly. This gave me a chance to apologize and try and make it right. I think that’s all we can really hope for… a few friends who care like that. Friends who want you in their lives enough to accept the fact we aren’t always going to do things the best way, or the most thoughtful way, or simply put – the way we should.
What is really beautiful to me though is the fact that I now feel more connected to this friend. I think it is because her hurt showed me how deeply affected she is by my actions and the separation showed me just how much I want her in my life. I told her when we were talking that day that getting older does indeed make us wiser. I was not the girl of my youth who would have been easily offended by the silence, who would have placed the blame elsewhere, who would have talked behind her back. Instead of judging, I reflected; instead of feeling sorry for myself, I put myself in her shoes.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at how blessed I have been to travel the road of life with so many truly remarkable women!! Each one of these beautiful friendships work together to make me the person I am today. Not a single one of them is more or less important than the others. It is like a giant complex puzzle (you know, the kind you get out on vacation when it is raining out). Some of my friends have been the outside pieces; not too hard to find, fairly easily placed but oh so important because they create the structure and boundary for everything found inside. Other friends are those inside pieces, they are the ones you search out, you agonize over, you turn and test and focus on until you get it just right. What a glorious puzzle my friends are helping me make of my life.
I wrote this post to my journal blog on July 6, 2013.
Less than a month later the friend who the post is about had died by suicide.
Don’t wait to tell others how much you love them, how much you need them or how sorry you are for anything that has negatively impacted your friendship. Tell them today!
I’m sending giant hugs your way friends.
Until next time,
XO – Peggy